The Boob Situation

I have long thought about whether to talk about my latest "situation" here or not since I am not really ever one to be so forthcoming about my personal life and personal situations. I usually try to keep things to myself and work them out on my own. But I have found that sharing this current bump in the road benefits every woman in my family and even my friends.

Not being one to do regular monthly breast exams, I was shocked to find while scratching my underarm a strange lump that was definitely not supposed to be there. Initial feeling was that of utter freak-out and immediately fearing the worse (I tend to be over-dramatic when things are "wrong" with me - also consider myself a hypochondriac). The C-word was the first thing to pop in my mind although not very logical for me to go to that extreme just yet. After all, I had no idea what it was but we seemed to always be taught in school and even in our yearly doctor visits to immediately see a doctor when any type of lump is found. I managed to get myself to work although I really wanted to just crawl into bed and feel sorry for myself. Again - the overdramatic side threatened to take over. When I got to work, I immediately got in touch with my good friend Web-MD. I look up everything on that site and in fact I believe I correctly diagnosed myself with post-nasal drip when I had a nagging cough for weeks on end!! The first thing the site said when I looked up "lump found in breast" was "Don't Panic!" I was kind of amused because of course I had panicked that morning. Apparently 80% of all lumps found are not cancerous and have varying reasons for being there. They outlined what are "normal" lumps and what would be of concern. I started to feel a little bit better but there was always the fact that Uncle Ken was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The timing was pretty unreal. So I made an appointment with a new doctor out near me for my annual check up and to talk about the invader in my boob.

I typically do not deal with stress all that well and I was already dealing with the new house and the unsuccessful selling of the current house. Not sure why everything had to be dropped on me at once but there it was. My emotional state is already very fragile (I think Mike is starting to get sick of my crying spells!) but somehow I had to try to think positive and figure that there had to be a reason for all of this. I saw a nurse practitioner at my new doctor's office. She was very comforting and when checking the lump, she made a mention that it didn't seem to her to be all the worrisome. She in fact had to deal with a lump herself that turned out to be benign. She referred me to get a mammogram and an ultrasound to get the official film work done on what was going on. No woman can ever be prepared for what the mammogram entails. I know it was a matter of time before I needed to start going regularly but wasn't overly prepared to go now. There is just something not right about the whole process. It seems so outrageous that there is not an easier, less uncomfortable way to do this!!! I literally felt like my boob was becoming a pancake and I was sure that it was not going to go back to its original shape!! I find myself somewhat lucky in being not so endowed but I really don't know how the larger gifted women of this world go through this! If anyone tells you it's not that bad, they lie (and I have a very high pain tolerance!) But I made it through and then went to get an ultrasound. After the ultrasound, I waited a ridiculous amount of time and then the door opened with the radiologist, nurse, and the tech who did the ultrasound. I knew that this was not just nothing since I don't think all those people would be in the room. The radiologist said that it appeared to be of low concern but since it was a solid mass (and not fluid filled which is typical of a cyst), they suggested I get a biopsy. While it all seemed like good news, I was still a wreck that this whole process needed to continue and that I would have to see more doctors and have more procedures. So I went to a recommended breast surgeon yesterday for what I thought was a needle biopsy. I spent most of the morning nervous as can be with the thought of a long needle going into this lump. Mom & Kelly came to the doctor's office for support and Mike was worried all day for me. Turns out the surgeon decided that it would be in my better interest to have this lump removed and then have the biopsy done after that. He said it appeared to be a benign cyst but he figured I would be most comfortable with getting it removed altogether. I wholeheartedly agreed with that because I know I would always be checking it to see if it was still there and if it had gotten any bigger. So I do feel better after hearing 3 doctors say that it does not appear to be anything of urgent concern. I am scheduled to have it excised on Feb. 15th. I will get some of that twilight anesthesia, they will make a small incision, remove the lump, and sew me up with some dissolvable stitches. Then they will do a biopsy after that that and then I will go through the pain-staking process of waiting for the results. Simple as that. And then hopefully all of this will be behind me.

I would say my attitude about monthly self-exams has changed dramatically. I know for a fact that I will always be checking. With the family history we have, I am also urging my sisters to do the same.

Let me just say that I think more people have seen my breasts in the last 3 weeks than have seen them in my entire lifetime. For someone who used to be overly self-conscious of the size (or lack thereof) of my boobs, I find that I really have no shame now (although that doesn't mean I will be going to Mardi Gras and flashing for all to see for some lousy beads).

St. Joseph needs to work harder

No we haven't sold the current house and yes the new house is done.

Closing is Feb 7th on the new house with moving day scheduled for Feb 8th. Anyone else needing me to babysit their furniture can begin bringing it by anytime after the 8th. Went to walkthrough on the house this week and everything looks fabulous - I am so pleased with all my choices!! Mike really only wants to take credit for his so-called choice on the countertops.

This so-called offer that was supposed to come in on the current house appears to be a bust. Seems as if this realtor jumped the gun on claiming there would be an offer but he never sat down with the buyers to create this so-called offer. My guess is that they backed out. So the stress continues. I don't think St. Joseph is working hard enough.

I have no real interesting stories to share like Kelly does. Other than the rather interesting folks I encounter on the train every day (those that snore, those that talk very loudly on their cell phones, those that smell like curry), and the folks that are outside my building every day either playing the sax (the Simpsons theme is getting really old) or asking for money, I don't have any funny moments to share. I am stuck in my sad routine of train, Caribou coffee for hot chocolate, work, train, home, dinner, tv, hope realtor calls, sleep. I do find amusement on a daily basis from the animals in my house. Minnie likes to keep pooping on the floor (see Colin isn't the only one not poopy potty trained!). The sad thing is that she knows she is doing wrong but can't seem to help herself. Ozzie stays attached to me whenever I am home and he always needs to be under the blankets. I have found that when I put the blanket right over his head he looks just like E.T. Kraemer has been coming out of her hiding places a lot more lately. She is still playful and chases imaginary things on the floor but still gets pretty brutal with Ozzie. There have been some really good boxing matches between the 2 of them that would be a hit on YouTube if I had a video camera. Lucy is still Lucy - she needs a lot of attention and is always trying to start trouble with the dogs. I worry that the cats will be traumatized when we move - after all they haven't left the current house in over 3 1/2 years. They will be getting an early visit to the new house to get acclimated and seek out their preferred hiding spots. I think I am more stressed about the cats and how they respond to the move than anything else. Yes I am still the cat lady!

Aftermath of another holiday season

So Christmas and the New Year came and went yet again. As always I enjoyed all the time spent with the family - both mine and Mike's and I think I gained about 20 pounds with the amount of shrimp and mushrooms consumed (very exotic food mind you). I am saddened that this was the last Christmas Eve spent at the house on Congress Avenue but extremely excited to host it again at the new digs (with all the new Christmas stuff I could not resist buying at American Sales with their big after Christmas sale!). I think next Christmas Eve we will have both sides of the family over - we certainly will have the room for it. I hope everyone puts that into their little planners now.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching Colin and Landon open their presents - I am not offended in the slightest that the cool Illinois sweatshirt I got Colin was tossed aside. I know his mom will make him wear it with pride (even if they got their butts kicked on New Year's Day). As always, I love giving presents. I know their is often aggravation amonsgt the siblings that I refuse to abide by the rules of the grab bag concept but I just can't help it. It is a part of my whole Christmas tradition and I am sticking with it whether you all like it or not. Mike and I enjoyed our time at his sisters - yet again hearing his dad convinced he didn't have a stroke and telling Mike's mom not to eat anything exotic for fear of another blood clot. Always interesting to say the least.

Gift wise, I am thrilled with everything I got. The Altar Boyz show is going to be fun - I am looking forward to a night out with my sisters. Definitely something we have not all done together in a long time. I love my wine journal and box and enjoyed the Bodeans show that Mike got me tickets to. The Bodeans always bring out an interesting group of folks - excellent people watching.

We celebrated Mike's birthday with some friends at Maggiano's. If I had all the money in the world I would eat there weekly.

New Year's Eve was spent with friends and Mike even got a cake to celebrate his birthday there too. I think we celebrated Mike's birthday most of the weekend which was really not that fair! New Year's Day was a good time at the parents although I would have liked a better ending to the Illinois game.

We had a little scare at home when Minnie collapsed after vomiting. She appeared to have a seizure and was a little out of it for a short while. We got her into the vet and he confirmed what we thought and we are basically keeping an eye on her to see if it happens again. Could have been a one time thing or could be the start of something more. We won't know until blood results are done and we see if she has any more seizures. Was definitely scary because I felt completely helpless.

The house remains unsold. We have had a couple of showings but nothing more than that. Still no offers. The realtor for the one interested person we thought we had has not returned any messages from my realtor so who knows. All I know is that this is one of the most frustrating situations I have ever been in. The new house is well on its way to completion. We attend the final walkthrough next Tuesday (Jan 8th). Excited but tempered by the current house not selling and knowing that I won't be moving into the new one for another month.

So now it is back to work and trying to find motivation in this new year to be somewhat ok with going to work every day.