Life Changes

I recently thought about my life and who I am today compared to what I call my previous life….that of the single independent female. I was the one who was never going to get married and who was never going to have kids. Heck I never even thought about having a dog. I was going to be the ultimate cat lady; independent, stubborn, and most likely cranky. My fiercely independent and somewhat feminist views had men categorized as cheaters, liars, those who drink too much, those who gamble a lot, or those who are just plain be lazy. Unfortunately my previous relationships were pretty much based on those realities in one way or another. After I broke up with Mark, I was intent on being on my own with no plans for finding that next match. I enjoyed going where I wanted and doing what I wanted on my own schedule. I was able to focus on my career and my friendships. Friends were something I wasn’t known for having many of and the ones I did have seemed to be lost pretty quickly for one reason or another. So I was in a place where I wasn’t sure where I was headed but was content with where I was. My Friday nights were often spent at a bar where there was a very “Cheers” type feel in that the bartender knew me and my group of friends and would have our drinks on the bar almost before we even sat down. When one of the bartenders that we knew told us that he was opening a bar up in Winthrop Harbor, we immediately knew that we would make several trips there. And that we did. It was such a good feeling walking into Tropics on the weekends we would make the trek up north and have everyone so excited to see you; eager to hug you and ask what has been new. I and my friends kept the local motel in business with our frequent trips…so much so that the desk clerks usually knew us my name. I was having the time of my life with my friends and with these new people that I would come to call friends. We went on cruises with them and just really felt that I found more people to rely on and consider part of my family. Mike was one of those that I met at Tropics and although at first we were just acquaintances, we gradually got to know each other better. Little did I know then that my life was about to change completely.

There was the definite issue that Mike had a girlfriend at the time I had met him. In fact, that seems to be a common theme for me and my last 2 boyfriends. Some would call me a home-wrecker I guess. As Mike and I got to know each other more and more, the more I fell for him. And the bigger the issue of his girlfriend obviously became. I could not continue on with him without him making a big decision. And even if he chose to end things with her to be with me, would I ever be able to trust him? Who was to say he wouldn’t do the same to me. When it was official that he wanted to be with me, it was the beginning of the rest of my life. The unfortunate side was that I lost several very good friends who for whatever reason chose not to support me and Mike and instead “sided” with the ex-girlfriend, someone they really didn’t know all that well. I am sure there was more to it but to this day, I have yet to understand it all. But I have never felt more right about a situation as I did about choosing and wanting to be with Mike.

2 dogs, a marriage, and a baby girl later and I honestly feel complete. My career is still progressing and I still maintain a somewhat independent, strong woman lifestyle. Having Layla was the hardest thing I have ever done but not for one minute do I wish that things were different. The love I feel for her tops anything I have ever felt and it takes my breath away just looking at her. People may question why I don’t want to have more kids and the reason for me is simple. All the love I have is poured into that little girl and I am so happy and complete with her in my life. The day is drawing ever closer when I have to go back to work and back to that part of my life that it still very important to me. I still want to excel at my career and move up the so-called corporate ladder. But now my first thought and priority is my daughter and I am lucky to work at a place where they understand and support that. I will likely be an emotional wreck when I do have to leave her but it is all part of the next steps in our lives and I am so excited at what tomorrow has in store for us.