10 Weeks

Heard the baby's heartbeat at the doctor's office yesterday and I don't think until then that I really thought it was real...that I could really be pregnant. It was a very emotional moment and of course I cried like a baby (pun intended). Mike was there and I could tell he was pretty amazed by the moment. I think for him it became even more real too. I am feeling much better these days. Less nausea but still tired all the time. My appetite is picking up and my pants continue to get tighter and tighter. Not sure how long I will be able to resist those maternity pants but I will sure try. And yes I will continue to wear my heels until it is really almost impossible to! I have a rep to protect you know. If Nicole Ritchie can do it, so can I!!!

Mom also made a comment yesterday that only just dawned on me. My due date of July 18th was also Grandma M's birthday. As unlikely as it might be, I think it would be fitting and amazing for me for my child to share a birthday with her. In my own way of thinking that things always happen for a reason, I like to think that she had a say in things happening the way they have. Even more of a reason for me to believe that she is out there watching over me in some way.

I am looking forward to my annual hosting of Christmas Eve tomorrow. It is a tradition I truly relish and I am glad both sides of the family (including the dogs!) will be gathering together. Happy holidays to everyone!

8 weeks

So the honeymoon had to end sometime I suppose. Other than being extremely tired, I was feeling pretty good. Until the nausea set in. The all day, all consuming, bad news nausea. 24/7 of constant queasiness. You get the point right? Not one for getting the flu all that often (I don't think I can recall the last time I actually had it) and not one for being a huge fan of vomiting, I never thought I would want actually want to throw up. Believe me, throwing up would have been ideal compared to the constant state I have been in. All I can wonder is why again do women actually enjoy being pregnant??? The past couple of days have been slightly better. I was actually able to get myself out of the house and into work and have been able to focus ever so much more. My hope is that the worst has passed but prepared for it to come storming back again. What I am eagerly awaiting is this supposed point in pregnancy where all you want to do is eat and you have all these wonderful cravings. Right now, I am barely excited about my beloved McDonald's and have resorted to eating more fruit than I think I have ever eaten in my life. Canned fruit is a wonderful treat these days. And I have heard it all that this will all pass in the next 4-5 weeks and I will feel much more energized and ready to chow down. But excuse me as I try to lift my very exhausted head from my desk and remain pessimistic for now.

My friends have given me plenty of books to read and while I am thrilled to receive them, I find them to be very overwhelming. The books tend to focus on what could go wrong, what you should worry about, how not eating right will affect your baby, how caffeine will screw your child up, etc, etc, etc. I have a hard time reading that and thinking about how women have been doing this pregnancy thing for thousands and thousands of years and never had this level of information at their disposal..... and yet somehow after all the supposed wrong things they were doing their babies ended up just fine. I agree that over time we have learned very valuable things with better science and data at our fingertips but I also fear that we are in an over sensitive, over protective world. This is not to say I will be reckless and not do everything possible to ensure my baby is ok but I will also approach with a sense of realism that you cannot avoid all the bad, harmful things in the environment around you unless you live in a bubble. I find I will rely more on those who I know who have been through pregnancies as their experiences are much more valuable to me than anything written in a book.