Thankful

As we come to the end of the year and with the holidays upon us, I find that I need to convey how much I am thankful for as well as where I have some regrets from this past year. Overall, this has been an extremely challenging, emotional, and yet exciting year for me.

I am thankful to have experienced a relatively easy pregnancy (minus the heartburn and extreme swelling!).

I am thankful to have given birth to the most beautiful baby girl. She has made me see the world and myself in a whole different life. My priority now is to provide for her and make her as happy as possible. Quite a departure for someone who deemed themselves quite selfish for quite some time.

I am thankful to have survived the challenging early weeks and months with Layla. She certainly didn't make things easy at times but the initial strain it put on Mike and I has actually made us stronger as a couple.

I am thankful to have Mike as my husband. He has put up with more than could ever be expected and has not once wanted to run out the door (at least I haven't sensed he has wanted to!)

I am thankful to have a stable and rewarding job and one where I feel as secure as possible in the current economic situation we are in.

I am thankful to have the home that we live in and to be able to have a comfortable life. Things aren't always easy but I feel blessed to not have many of the stresses that I see many people experiencing.

I am thankful that my family remains healthy and a strong part of my life. As much as I talk about wanting to move to California, I know that moving away from my family would be a scary proposition.

I am thankful for the very wonderful friends and neighbors that I have. Being someone who didn't have a lot of friends early on in life, it is refreshing to have a great group of girls to rely on and spend time with.

As much as there is to be thankful for, there are regrets that I have with this year.

I regret losing touch with many of the friends that I got through the initial hurdles of post-college life with. It is hard to maintain relationships especially when you take different paths but it doesn't hurt any less to lose those friendships.

I regret some of the things I have said to a certain member of my family. While these things needed to be said as I didn't want to sugar coat things anymore, I am saddened by the change in what was once a strong relationship. I have come to understand that people change and sometimes those changes are hard to take.

I regret being too selfish at times and not keeping in better touch with people. My dislike for the phone withstanding, I wish I did more to reach out to others just to check in and say hi.

I regret having a bad temper at times and taking things unneccessarily out on Mike. My emotions got the better of me a lot this year and while pregnancy can be counted as one of the reasons for that, it doesn't make it right.

My life has been good this year and I have a lot to be thankful for. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love Layla. She has been the greatest blessing in my life. You can count on her likely being spoiled rotten and I won't feel the least bad about it!