Little Nogradi

Well it's official - I am going to have a child! It seems very strange to write that and even stranger to say it out loud. I was the one who was not too keen on kids or rather was too caught up in being career woman to really think about it. But now that it's happening, I am excited about what is to come. And at the same time, I am freaked out to the core. Most of my life has been about being prepared for what the next steps in my life would be so that I would know what to expect. Surprises are not my thing. This is increasingly true in that I will not be one of those women who waits until her baby is born to find out the sex - I need to know as soon as physically and scientifically possible. I know what to expect in my job and I prepare myself and plan around what the next steps are there. I know what my day to day is going to be like and can adjust to whatever challenges are thrown my way. I somewhat knew what to expect getting married to Mike - that it would be no different really than what our day to day life was before we got married. That is what I wanted as I did not want those surprises after the wedding day. Having a child throws all level of expectation out the window. I don't even know the first thing to do to even become prepared. Yes I can rely on those who have been had children of their own to bestow their wisdom on me but I am someone who has to live and learn on my own - I have to face the challenges and deal with them myself. I am nervous about all the responsibility that will be put on me and my ability to deal with that. I have not been known to handle stress very well - somehow I think I need to change that :)

I am excited and happy and somewhat surprised (those darn surprises) that it didn't take as long as I had thought to actually get pregnant. My hypochondriac thinking had me convinced that my womb was broken. In all my excitement, I remain very cautious. One never knows the true science of the woman's body. In the meantime, I am enjoying the extra attention that Mike is paying me and the fact that he is taking on all the fun tasks I once had to do (cleaning litter pans, vacuuming, etc). It will be interesting (and maybe somewhat scary) to see a little Mike enter this world. I think that is a scary thought for many people!!

I will continue to keep everyone posted here about the changes, the ups, the downs, and hopefully a beautiful baby come July.